


I Have Come To Know You

by Nevanna



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Asexual Character, First Time, M/M, Missing Scene, Season Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 02:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21263468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nevanna/pseuds/Nevanna
Summary: Very little has turned out as Martin imagined it.  Why should his first (and possibly only) time with Jon be any different?





	I Have Come To Know You

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the kinkmeme on 10/27/19, and tweaked it to fit with MAG 160, so there are some implicit spoilers herein. The title is from the song "Always" by the October Project.
> 
> I have no ironclad assumptions about Jon's willingness to have sex, nor do I wish to rain all over anyone else's headcanons, but if you've made up your mind that he would _never_, for _any_ reason, this is probably not the fic for you.

Martin rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling, listening to the sound of breathing on the other side of the bed. He’s trying to figure out whether to speak, to nestle close to Jon, or to just wait for one or both of them to fall asleep, when Jon says, “I suppose that didn’t turn out as either of us imagined it would.”

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted you?” Martin asks, and then has to laugh a little, because if Jon hadn't been aware, at the beginning, he could have gained that knowledge at any time. “I don’t think _anything_ we do was ever going to live up to the way I imagined it. Especially our first time.” Not even his most outrageous dreams of this occasion had involved anything like the mess that they’d left behind in London, though a few scattered fantasies had indeed included a shared bedroom in the Scottish countryside.

The reality turned out to involve an awkward mess of misplaced limbs and Jon’s occasional bursts of apology, but his skin was warm (the memory of the Lonely is still fresh enough that Martin will accept all the warmth he can get), the lines of his body were at once familiar and exciting, and his _voice_… well, the sound of that voice alone might have been enough to send Martin over the edge.

He wishes he could believe that Jon had enjoyed it a fraction as much.

“Our first time,” Jon echoes. “I suppose that you envision more, then.”

“Well, yeah. If you want.” He can hear Jon sigh. “What’s wrong?” When he’s met with only silence, Martin props himself up on one elbow. “Tell me what’s going on. Even if the world’s about to end again, I’d rather hear it now.”

“I suspect that whatever I say will make our current circumstances even more awkward,” Jon admits. “But I don’t want to lie to you.”

Dread settles in Martin’s belly, catches in his throat, no matter how little sense it makes that he’s so nervous after facing down monsters. “About what?”

“About my… well, my general lack of interest in sex. With anyone.”

Several possible responses cycle through Martin’s mind. “I would’ve liked to know…” he begins.

“And you should have.”

“…before I forced you into…”

“Martin!” Jon’s voice sharpens, the way that it used to do when Martin misplaced a file somewhere in the Archives. “You did not _force_ me. Yes, this seemed to be what you desired, perhaps what you needed right now. And I admit that I haven’t… er… _tried_ in a very long time, and so much has changed since then. I wasn’t sure how it would feel to try again, with you.” He touches Martin’s cheek. “But I wanted to know.”

That, at least, Martin can believe. “And do you?”

“I know that I like being close to you,” Jon says slowly. “That I like kissing you.” He takes Martin’s hand and brushes the knuckles with his lips. “I’m still… less than enthusiastic about other forms of intimacy. I'm not sure what that will mean for us, but I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything.”

“I’m sorry that you felt like you couldn’t, after… well, after everything.” Martin interlaces their fingers. “But it’s not like _I_ can compel the truth out of _you_, so I hope you’ll tell me what you need, from now on. If there is a ‘from now on.’” He means that in more ways than one.

“I hope that there can be.”

“So when you said that you liked being close…” Martin shifts his weight. “Does that include right now?”

“It most certainly does,” Jon says, and when Martin pulls him into an embrace, it’s every bit as wonderful as he’s imagined, and more. _From now on, we’ll be honest with each other,_ he thinks, kissing Jon between the eyes. _We’ll find ways to make each other happy. From now on, even if the world ends, we face it side by side._


End file.
